Tuesday, April 21, 2009

There She Is

In my younger years The Miss America Pageant was marginally interesting. Young, lovely women twirled batons, played the clarinet, packed suitcases for overseas travel and recited poetry. As a boy I always assumed the winner had three favorable components: beauty, breasts and a moderate ability to speak the English language. Things have changed. Although beauty and breasts continue to protrude as most desirable I believe it is no longer necessary to speak the English language, truthfully. No matter what you believe in, if it does not meet the requirements of the politically correct judges, you will not win. So here are a few tips for you potential beauties:
Learn to lie
Turn your back on your own soul 
Be beautiful, have big breasts and do not speak from your heart 
Piss on everything you have been raised to believe 
Disrespect your parents
Run from your faith
Then you can wear the crown of Miss USA and you will be a perfect reflection of our dying republic


Blogger Ken Van Durand said...

All you said is more than true.

However, I am certain that the Lord will reward Carrie Prejean ten fold.


April 22, 2009 at 8:03 AM  
Blogger Nancy said...

Who won?

April 23, 2009 at 3:39 PM  
Blogger Thom Schuyler said...

Excellent question, Nancy. I think it was Miss South Carolina.

April 23, 2009 at 6:10 PM  
Blogger Jonathan said...

My freak daughter who I just found out about an hour ago when her mother called to congratulate me after 21 years of silence and disdain for me. I am blessed.

But I am proud despite the fact they could drown in their own and or combined "cesspools of human depth" .. God bless their souls......JD

April 25, 2009 at 6:34 PM  

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