The Absurd Language of Failure

My dear pal, J. Fred Knobloch and I, have been exchanging e-mail the past few days prompted by an article recently written and published by John Cougar Mellencamp. The essence of Mr. Mellencamp’s prose attacked the machinery within the music industry used to promote, market and advertise musical product to the public. The article focused a great deal on the heavy-handed tactics used to ensure current singles find their way onto the playlists of major radio stations in major markets. Fair enough – he made some good points. But Fred and I disagreed on some of our understanding of several components of Mellencamp’s perspective and so, in a good-natured manner, we have been having our little e-debate. (Please note this last word.) 

This morning I received from Fred a most humorous and edifying installment in this communication chain. He had been reviewing some documents he received at a recent confab of music elites and marketing gurus. Fred sent me a list of the words and phrases he encountered with the most frequency. Here is an abbreviated list: strategy, strategic, interactive marketing, brand and design, forward thinking, ‘discover, share and create,’ social media, network, marketing, consumer awareness, executive campaigns, positioning, executing strategic investments, blogosphere, application development, nimbit, Twitter, Facebook, media branding, gaming communities, Meebo, iMeem, DIY, global, provider, strategic music/media relationships, strategic partnerships, key policy issues and The Street.

A few things come to mind when I read this list. Music is mentioned one time and not simply as ‘music;’ apparently it must be ‘strategic music’ whatever the hell that is. Secondly, we’ve been hearing many of these words and phrases for 20 years and the music business is in the slammer. The Internet (inferred in many of these words and phrases) is an absolutely diluted wasteland of self-promotion, vile opinions, awful music and pornography. This makes it a perfect partner for the contemporary music business and those empty and overpaid geniuses that contrived the above list of empty and meaningless tripe.

But Fred’s final assessment was priceless. ‘After re-reading this stuff I think we should start an Internet site called Assbook.’ Stay e-tuned.