Friday, February 08, 2008

Limbaugh, Hannity & Coulter

I’ve never liked any of these people. Not that it matters; lots of folks do and this ‘Peter, Paul & Mary’ of the so-called conservative base has been printing money due to the success of their hateful, over-the-top, right-slanted and mean-spirited freak shows for far too long a time. That any of these three pompous, anti-intellectual and arrogant celebrities has the license to be the mouthpiece that defines conservatism in America is a testament to how far we have fallen. God bless us all. 
Recently, Fatboy, Fratboy and Olive Oil have declared their support for Hillary Clinton should John McCain become the Republican candidate for president. I can’t tell you how terribly much I want this to happen. After decades of hearing their tirades, innuendo and attacks against Hillary’s ultra-liberal politics it would be most fitting for these three vacuous windbags to turn and jump on her wagon. It will prove, finally, how empty their minds and hearts really are.
I’ll be frank: I voted for George W. Bush twice. In retrospect, I certainly regret the second of those two votes. His presidential tenure is an absolute and repulsive disaster. Oh that I had written in an alternative conservative candidate - like my Uncle Walter, for instance. (Certainly I couldn’t have pushed a lever for Mr. Iceberg or Mr. Heinz.) But I confess herein the sin of my actions and bare an appropriate amount of guilt and humiliation…and debt. But not so this stubborn and stiff-necked trio; they continue to spew their tired invective sans a trace of humility. They remain remorseless, relentless and very, very wrong.
But one senses their power slipping. The sudden and widespread rejection of their monopoly on mindlessness is palpable. The people are turning away – at long last. Only a liar would suggest that John McCain would govern more liberally than Hillary Clinton. Only a fool would support an America that would install Hillary Clinton as Commander-in-Chief of our Armed Forces. Only an idiot would embrace the possibility of Bill Clinton living, once again, on Pennsylvania Avenue. The people know this and they are turning away. So, I offer this brief and final farewell to the liar, the fool and the idiot. 
And I urge Mr. McCain to assess their recent babblings for what they are: unfunny, inaccurate, argumentative, book-selling bile. And I would urge Peter, Paul and Mary to ponder this: ‘How many roads must a man walk down before they call him a man?’ 


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