Saturday, January 27, 2007

The 2nd Chapter of Luke (circa 2007 A.D.)

Ed Rendell, former abrasive mouthpiece of the DNC and current governor of PA, took no time to show his true colors when he arrived in Harrisburg. His first legislative initiative was to gain approval for his Plan For a New Pennsylvania to be underwritten by covering The Keystone State with slot machines. It is most fitting that the casino locations were awarded during the 2006 Christmas season. My lovely and serene hometown, Bethlehem - “Christmas City USA” – founded by a humble group of Moravian missionaries on Christmas Eve 1735 - will now be home to one of Rendell’s Casinos to be built on a portion of the site of the former Bethlehem Steel Corporation. Following is an anonymous account of these recent events:

“And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from The Legislature that all the citizens of Pennsylvania should be taxed. (And this taxing was first made long before Ed Rendell was governor of The Keystone State.) And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city. And Joseph also went up from out of the city of Nazareth unto the city, which is called Bethlehem, (because that’s where his folks still lived in that small double-house in that sweet neighborhood in which he was raised:) to be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child. And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn booked up as it was by pimps, hookers and hustlers who came hence to prey upon the lost flock who arrived by the busload from New Jersey, New York and Maryland to play the slots.

And there were in the same county the homeless, addicted and busted abiding in the streets, keeping watch over the flock by night. And, lo, as the gambling throngs passed by, the panhandlers gathered round about them: and they were sore afraid. And they said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I only need a quarter to buy my child some milk and bread. And suddenly there was with the panhandlers a multitude of punks and thugs handing out flyers to the Platinum Club saying, “Anything you want, dude – Check it out.”

And it came to pass, as property taxes decreased as a result of the slot machine revenue conceived by His Most Dishonorable Governor, that more prisons and hospitals were required; law enforcement and emergency medical personnel needs escalated; the homeless population grew to crisis proportions; the murder and suicide rates sky-rocketed; the roads collapsed under the burden of constant traffic and the infrastructure of the city deteriorated as they came in haste with their rolls of quarters. And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this city – “O Little Town of Bethlehem how still we see thy Lie.”


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